My Prince Charming

As we were browsing through a shoe store the other day, Niko picks up a pair of school bus yellow, patent leather, stripper heels. He says, "Mommy, try these on. They're beautiful!". Since he handed me a size 6, I knew would be impossible to fit even my big toe in, I declined. He proceeds to pick out lots of colorful, exotic shoes for me to try on. Since when did my 5-year-old stuntman take an interest in women's shoes? He tells me, "But, Mommy.....you'll look so beautiful with these shoes on!". Too cute!

As we continue shopping, his eyes suddenly light up and he runs over to me, gets on one knee, holding a shoe in one hand and says, "Try this shoe on and see if it fits!". I look down and see a clear plastic, strapless, 3-inch heel with lots of gold and silver sparkles. This shoe was bejeweled and glittered to the max! Niko says, in his Boston accent, "This is the glass shoe that Prince Charming gives all the gals!". The young, Mexican salesgirl couldn't stop laughing. Only my little Prince Charming would do something so adorable! I hope he never grows up but when he does, I hope he buys me lots of glittery shoes :)

My Mom Is Sooo Funny!

The other day my mom and I were talking and she mentioned that she watches, "The Apprentice". I immediately said, "I can't stand Donald Trump!". In her cute southern accent she says, "He's not so bad once you get to know him." Know him? What? Well, I knew what she meant.

I told her that Donald is considering running for President. Although I would never vote for him, my mom feels that he would make a great President. She says, "Hey, he knows how to make money! I would vote for him!". That's true. Good point, Mom!

I immediately responded with, "How can the man manage a country when he can't even manage his hair?". She says, "Hey, he manages his hair pretty well because he's actually bald under there!". Hahahaha!!

Oh......how I love these debates with my mother :)

Vacation???

On a recent road trip to Florida, I wondered if a vacation was actually a good idea. 1,200 miles away, in a car, with my hubby and two kids. My son threw up the whole way there. My daughter was aggravated because she couldn't sleep. My husband's back was killing him from driving and I was stressed beyond belief. A vacation, really?

One week in a small hotel room....all together. Sure, we're a close family but at home we can escape to our bedrooms or the basement. Not this time! We were forced to be together, in small quarters. I had absolutely no privacy for days! My only escape was the five minute shower I took each day and even then my son was banging on the door needing his mommy's attention.

Niko (5) wanted to go to the beach and swim while Kiana (14) wanted to visit Harry Potter Land to shop and explore. My son couldn't ride many of the rides that my daughter and I rode. He was very upset! My hubby couldn't stomach most of the rides. It was 92 degrees and extremely over crowded. Everyone was frustrated and I was ready to run away!

I surprised my family with a spring break trip to Florida with the intentions of spending some good, quality time with them. Was this all blowing up in my face? Did I even know these ungrateful people?

As the week progressed, things got better. We enjoyed the beach, restaurants, and museums. We even began enjoying each other. During the drive home, my daughter raised an interesting point. She believed that we had a hard time adjusting to the constant time together. We were forced to be together, like it or not. Although I did not achieve total relaxation during my vacation, I learned a lot. I learned to love all the good and bad things about my family. I also learned to appreciate home because I sure missed it a lot!

The Drive By

As I was pulling out of the work parking lot today, a guy almost ran into my car with his bike. He didn't seem happy to be riding his bike through the snow and didn't have much control over it, either. Although he almost ran into me because he didn't stop before proceeding through the driveway, he became extremely upset. He looked at me with fire in his eyes and called me a "White Bitch". I was shocked!

Not only was I insulted, but I was not going to let him get away with it. How could I possibly let this slide? No way! I was going to give him a piece of my mind.

I caught up to him down the street as he was passing me on my passenger side. I quickly rolled down the window and yelled, "HEY!! I'm not white!!". I meant to say, "HEY! I'm not a bitch!", but somehow that didn't come out. Startled, he looked at me with confusion. I'm not sure if he was trying to get away from me or if he was trying to figure out how I wasn't white.

Either way, I laughed all the way home.

Wife Swap!

Have you ever watched, "Wife Swap"? Well, I have used this show to threaten my children when they misbehave. One day we were watching the show and a mean, crazy mother was swapped with a really sweet, obsessive compulsive mother. Of course as the show played on, the crazy mother was mean to the kids and totally destroyed the home she was staying in. The kids learned to love and appreciate their clean home and sweet mother and couldn't wait for her to come home.

I guess the purpose of the show is to teach the husbands and kids to appreciate their family and home. Each mother has something to teach the other family. In my case, I feel as though my family should appreciate me more.

One day, my son was acting up and throwing tantrums, my husband didn't want the healthy meal I had cooked, and my daughter wouldn't clean her room. I got so mad and yelled out, "THAT'S OKAY! I'LL TEACH YOU ALL A LESSON! I'M GOING ON WIFE SWAP AND YOU'LL SEE HOW GOOD YOU'VE GOT IT!" They all looked at me like I was crazy.

Little did they know, I have seriously considered it. It would definitely make for a good story. Because I'm such a neat freak, they'll probably send someone here to destroy my house or shave my kids bald. Hey, my family will learn to appreciate me, won't they? The truth is.....I don't think I could stand to be away from these spoiled brats for a whole week but I'll never admit it! ;)

My Sweet Pork Hammer

As the kids and I sat in Olive Garden having dinner last night, I was awakened by the sweetness of my four-year-old son. He kept staring a table seated across from us. It was a mother and her two sons. My Niko suddenly pointed to the little boys and said, "Mommy, where's their Daddy?". Embarrassed, I quickly whispered to him that it wasn't polite to point. He insisted, "But...where is their Daddy?". I explained to him that maybe their Daddy was at home, or working, or maybe they just didn't have a Daddy. He said, "Why? What happened to him?". I could see that he was getting upset and I knew that I needed an excuse and fast. I didn't want to say, "Geez....maybe he died." Although, that thought did run through my head. So instead, I said, "Maybe he doesn't live with them. Maybe he has his own house." Niko suddenly made a sad face and said, "Awwww....poor things!". At that moment, my heart melted because I truly felt the love he has for his Daddy. This sweetness actually came from the same kid that calls himself PORK HAMMER!! (Hahahaha!!).

This Can't Be Good!

Why is it that every time I have something in the house that I really love to eat, I feel the need to eat it constantly until it's gone? I just polished off all of the chocolate covered almonds. Hey....at least the almonds are healthy, right? And, chocolate is now supposed to be good for you too. I always seem to tell myself this. I somehow convince myself that the junk food I ate was somehow good for me. lol

Hey.....I ate pizza, cheese is good because it contains calcium and the sauce is good because it contains lycopene. hahaa!! Well, I'd make a good lawyer. I have totally sabotaged my high-fiber diet. Oh well, I'll restart this thing on the first of the year. Why did everyone buy me cookies, nuts, candy, and cakes for Christmas? Maybe I can re-gift them? No.....that wouldn't be good.

Well, it's that time of the year when we should all be enjoying holiday goodies. Who eats a salad at Christmas? That reminds me, I ate glazed ham for four days straight. Ugh! I don't even want to step on the scale. Let's not forget the cheesy potatoes, lasagna, baked beans with bacon, mashed potatoes, butter rolls, and macaroni salad. Whew!

Thank you holidays!!!!