The Bathing Suit Dilemma

While excitedly awaiting my Spring vacation to Disneyworld, I decided that I should probably tackle the unenjoyable task of swimsuit shopping.
I found the perfect bathing suit online (that is it looked great on the model) but quickly found out that it was out of stock until after my vacation. Well, that wouldn't do me any good. So....I cancelled the order and headed out to the department stores.
I found tankinis, bikinis, one pieces, barely one pieces, and strings. None of which would fit my 38DD's! However, I remained open minded and tried on several different styles. In the tankini, I looked like I had a muffin popping out of the top of the bottoms. In the bikini, I was busting out of the top like a spring break college girl after some very bad implants. One nipple was peeking out, and although I'm sure my hubby would have enjoyed it, I wasn't too pleased. The string bikinis disappeared and haven't been found since. I'm surprised I wasn't arrested for shop lifting but that would have required a cavity search. lol
So, I decided to visit the plus size section, hoping to find a big enough top to accommodate my breasts. All the while, thinking to myself, "With all the implants in the world, do you think they would make a large top? Maybe it's time for a reduction! I sure miss my pre-baby 36 B's!"
I finally find a one-piece and try it on. It couldn't be that bad, right? Well......let's just put it this way, I looked like I had a Hawaiian dress on (I think it's called a moo moo). The stupid thing came to my knees! Finally I happen to pass a rack with a nice, normal, one piece hanging from it. Just as I was ready to give up, I decided to try it on. Well...........IT FIT!!! I actually looked human in it! Not that I didn't buy a cute little cover up to wear with it. ;)
Hopefully, I won't scare the crap out of Mickey Mouse~lol